Musings

Jun. 22nd, 2009 11:51 pm
chu_totoro: (random-- knowledge is evil)
So this conversation isn't all that impressive, really, except that I clarified some thoughts on society and identity and sexuality and am once again at peace with myself. Kind of like - the stuff you always knew but never really sorted out until you, well, sorted it out.

I should organize this into a more coherent essay sometime. With more background than we bothered to cite to each other because, I mean, we knew each other well enough not to...

AIM storage log )

Yay?

edit: So I think I just may revoke that statement because when I think about in SHS (orchestra at least) (now at least) (now that I think about it, maybe that isn't exactly true either) (I should stop going back and adding comments in parentheses) I hang out with girls more than boys! Maybe Korean boys are just cooler. Or maybe Korean girls are just too different, who knows.

Although, it definitely happened on the SJYS trip too. And to some degree in Australia... no okay that doesn't really count. That was more like co-ed with pervertedness meter to the extreme.

Also, I loved hanging around the tech room back when the Asian gamer crew was still around (sophomore year?) (they've been replaced now! by... the white gamer crew lmao) and that was all male. Also I love frisbee and half the time that's all male. That's when Lilith first started calling me a manwoman & I first started calling her a pansexual white freak! hahaha Vincent your girlfriend is pansexual.

Ahem.

So back to conclusion #1: I am androgynous! Except I like boys, and I think a truly androgynous person would be bisexual.

ahahaha fuck it. It all boils down to semantics anyways.
chu_totoro: (TRC-- group hug)

epic gmail (mostly one-sided conversation), abridged version 

as follows )

I'm sorry. I ♥ you guys. ahahahaha.

Now that I've gone wayyyyy past when I was planning to sleep... I'm off to sleep. >>;

chu_totoro: (Default)
Heck, going back through old chatlogs is kind of... addicting...

Posting a random bit in case anyone feels like reminiscing. ;D

AIM! )

ded

Nov. 6th, 2008 01:38 am
chu_totoro: (FMA-- I sleep now kthxbye)
... hour and twenty minute long AIM convo. whew!

I think I've had longer, but not in a long while.

I'm so tired. My body is tired, my mind is tired, but my thoughts are still perfectly clear. I'm not sure how those all work together.

I don't think I've slept this late for months. Which is kind of sad, considering it's only 1:42 AM, but I really haven't. Not in ages. Been sleeping before 12, for the most part.

In other news, I was watching the cello children and I couldn't help but think about how small they were and how young they were and how far they still had to go, and I couldn't help but wonder, sitting up on that ledge, if this was how my seniors felt years ago, sitting up in that same spot and looking down on us from on high, and if in another several years the little freshmen-now-seniors will find the same spot and look down at the itty-bitty children and think of me and wonder the same thing. Life keeps moving and moving, but it seems that somehow the same cycles keep repeating themselves over and over, echoing, in some strange way, the vestiges of the past...

Mmmmm seeing as I haven't stayed up this late in so long, I probably haven't made an LJ post while up this late in a long time as well. My mind always starts churning slightly haywire past a certain hour. Next morning the thoughts sometimes seem ludicrous, sometimes not. But who knows which mind is more lucid? Maybe it is actually this mind, and all the times waking I go about life as in a dream. Who is to say a dream is not more real than reality? For that matter, how are we to know what's really the figments of our imagination and what's not? What if reality changes from day to day, but every time it changes your memories shift as well to accommodate the new reality? How would you know it shifted? Could you even call it a shift, if you don't remember? Or would it, in some sense, be so many parallel worlds all next to each other?

Aish I'm screwed for school tmr.
chu_totoro: (FMA-- pyromaniacs)
[22:53] thethirdChang: all right TRUE IS CORRECT YAY
[22:54] thethirdChang: why do they have to say k instead of z
[22:54] thethirdChang: lame program
[22:54] thethirdChang: oh well
[22:54] ThereBeYe: i j k are the unit vectors
[22:54] ThereBeYe: in the directions of x y z
[22:54] thethirdChang: oh yeah huh

[22:52] thethirdChang: wait what's pi/2
[22:52] thethirdChang: 180?
[22:52] ThereBeYe: <<
[22:52] ThereBeYe: >>

HAHAHA WAY TO BE BRAINDEAD.

Word of advice to y'all. If you take EPGY multivariable and fail (i.e. do nothing for five months), and they offer to let you stay on for half price but only half time, DON'T TAKE THE OFFER. PARTICULARLY IF YOU ARE A CHRONIC PROCRASTINATOR.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH.

epic fail yo. I'm getting sin pi and cos pi backwards. How pathetic is that?

Time for more energy drinks. Get that brain running straight again.

Also on a side note, is it true that you can sign up for w/e SAT II and then go in and take any variation of SAT II tests you want to take on the spot, without requesting change or anything? My friend mentioned it, and now that I think about their system I'm inclined to believe it's true...

In other other news, Mel's got guitarhero. I want to play rockband. I miss rockband. :( Let's start our own rockband. :D

Oh guys if you've some free time go take this survey and support my brother, who has apparently risen to the level of design consultant. Three cheers and a cookie!
chu_totoro: (Kenshin-- I can fly)
in random AIM discussion w/keropi the other day:

KERO: yeah... no potential significant others (i.e. crushes)... I know, for once.
ME: !!! for you? yuuuup that's a first.
KERO: Well considering I'm still going to Harker...
ME: Ahaha yeah Harker guys?
KERO: Yeah... they're all pretty much the same. Y'know, rich... smart... really really nice...
ME: mmm...

*pause*

KERO: Come to think of it, why are Harker guys so unpopular?

XD

not saying Harker lacks jerks. *MattGehmkoffkoff*

also, Japanese?

I completely revise my view of it.

Taking it at De Anza and not SHS was probably my best decision of junior year. srsly.

I love that class. ♥♥


so it's no longer boring, after the first dull course-syllabus explaining day, and my classmates are hella funny. :)

sat next to this nameless guy with long straggly dirty-blonde hair and these green earphones that he always wears and sort of this, you know, raggedy look you'd expect to see sitting by a wall like a hobo somewhere, but ahahahaha he's such a funny guy. I taught him how to penspin, and he tried to teach me how to pentwirl, but I totally failed.

So here's us spinning, and people are going up in pairs to the front of the room to say their mini-dialogues, and:

GUY: Argh!
ME: (covertly) tilt your hand more!
GUY: Like this? /spin

...and somehow...

PEN CAP: whooooooooooooooshwzztBAM!
[PEN CAP flies across the room and hits the wall on the other side]
BOTH OF US: O____O;;

I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard... and then we had to muffle so Konishi sensei wouldn't pay attention to us (I'm pretty sure she knew what we were up to >>) and yeah.

The other kid, Karen's friend, he's hilarious too. v. fob, and. well. he doesn't mean to be, but he's just funny. XD

The two random Japanese girls (I think they were Japanese) taught me random Japanese tongue twisters. Something like:

Tokyo tokkyou kyoukakyoku!

no idea what it means.

plus to that, Konishi's a much, much better teacher than Aoki. :) And I am learning stuff, so it's all good.

In other news, Dr. House!!! New season cometh outeth. ^^ I love how absolutely obnoxious he is.

WILSON: You're sure it's not the guilt? Repressed guilt can come back to haunt you...
HOUSE: (munching on some random food) No.
WILSON: Really. Yet you see them. Sure you're not just sorry...?
HOUSE: (lurches up on crutches) The only thing I'm sorry for-
[HOUSE throws half eaten food into WILSON's coffee]
HOUSE: -is this! byebye.
[HOUSE lurches away]

heeeeeeeeeeeee.
chu_totoro: (Kenshin-- I can fly)
...I... talked. Online. For three hours. Having philosophical discussions. What is wrong with me. x_____X

It started with me and Venuti. Well, I guess it started with me and Melody. We were chatting idly about I don't even know what and touched on the subject of social ties and cliques (esp. @ Harker) and free-floatingness (that's me @ SHS haha) though it dwindled and died because she's still at Harker, obviously, and... still in a clique. Of sorts. Yeah.

So then I was thinking about how social ties define a person, because an achievement without acknowledgment just tastes sour in the mouth, and, well, is pretty empty, so I asked Venuti randomly as we were discussing the different types of cuteness as applied to foxes and coyotes and general coyote folktales (I forgot why)... what he thought defined a person's existence! And from there we went on. and on. and on. And it tied into Mao Tse Dong at some point at which we began discussing politics and the possible outcomes of the world and overpopulation, most of which we seem to agree on (the earth will never unite globally unless we have a common interplanetary enemy, and then only briefly), and tangent (colonization of other planets!) leads to tangent (if we ever make it) to tangent (possibility 2: mad struggle for resources and majority of humans die) and I remember covering a lot of WWII history and Thomas Malthus along with certain Modest Proposals and other stuff.

So that was about an hour. And it was past 12, and I was about to go to bed! Only then I happened to be talking to Joe, who asked me why I was still awake, so I tried to explain to him how philosophy turned into politics, and then suddenly we were dragged back to the philosophy part of the discussion all over again, because he had a decidedly different view, and we debated. Over factors that define human existence. For over an hour. We did come to some sort of agreement at the end, and also the additional agreement that the question was irrelevant in the long run, so then! We were going to bed. Only, in our coming to this conclusion we somehow touched on a different topic, going back to the cliques and the floating and the general idea of friends, and that went on until Louis asked me why I was staying up, and I was afraid I'd start getting into a discussion with him too and then it'd never end and I would never sleep. But at that point it was moving away from philosophy and more onto personal life, so it wasn't too bad, and we chatroomed for a bit before Joe finally left. For reals. After telling me about 20 times that he was about to go to bed. XD;

Still, 3 hours. That's pretty scary.

Oh well. A little healthy grinding of the brain never did anyone any harm. It forces you to think. Something a lot of people really need to do more of nowadays.

Whoever said you can't have serious discussions online doesn't fscking know what he's talking about.
chu_totoro: (random-- abracadabra)
omg.

editing 2 stupid minutes of video.

takes SO LONG.

so like. all morning when I was home. then from 8:30 when I got back from classes + poetry + crap all the way til now. so that's like 4 hours.

we have the most retarded vid ever wtf. watch us fail.

also, anyone think this conversation ) is a bit like. self-contradictory? _o_

hahahahahaha having stupid conversations with frank totally helps crack me up when I'm ready to strangle something from working on stupid japanese projects that turn out retarded anyway and don't make any sense. why did we film snakes again?
chu_totoro: (AS-- raziel)
um. yeah. I don't think I should tell stories anymore. >>;;

geez louis they didn't all die!! hmph )

......



wheeee skip list sleepy x_______x can't think
chu_totoro: (TRC-- lol)
going over these chatlogs w/deb really cracked us up. xD


Maeglin Arandur: MY HOST HAS REVEALED TOO MANY OF MINE SECRETS.
Maeglin Arandur: YOU WILL ALL BURN...
fwoofie: with SO-FIYA!
ekokitten: can we eat Louis now?
ekokitten: ......
ekokitten: *beat

x swirly whirl x: save me from kevin hou
x swirly whirl x: he just asked me to go to winter ball with him
x swirly whirl x: somebody saaaaaaave meeeee
ekokitten: isn't he in this chatroom?
Nautkyn: kevin hou
thethirdChang: kevin HOU
ekokitten: oh
thethirdChang: ... lag

thethirdChang: well, I had an idea the girl hanged himself
thethirdChang: ....
thethirdChang: HERSELFHERSELFERSELF

fwoofie: Adela was..um..
fwoofie: still doing her unicycle thang
fwoofie: but she accidentally loses control
fwoofie: because every one was trying to grab at her
fwoofie: since she was wearing an uber sexy shirt
fwoofie: and bright green spandex shorts
ekokitten: UBER SEXY SHIRT? WHAT?
ekokitten: EWWWWW
fwoofie: (this is adela you know)
ekokitten: oh ok. Good.

dcdcnews: you don't wanna look at the hot woman
dcdcnews: /michael jackson?
dcdcnews: /eliza taking a bath?

Maeglin Arandur: pfft I could be branded. you never know.
fwoofie: he might be possessed with a demon
Maeglin Arandur: YOU HAVE FOUND MY SECRET, MORTALS.
Maeglin Arandur: PREPARE TO MEET YOUR FIERY END.
rebbyaon: soulfire!!
rebbyaon: *fwaaaa!!*
Maeglin Arandur: YES. WITH SOULFIRE. LOTS OF SOULFIRE.

Maeglin Arandur: ... I am totally NOT a changeling.
Maeglin Arandur: I've just got this demon infestation. His name is joe.
Maeglin Arandur: He is one of the Dark Young of Shub-Niggurath.

fwoofie: shrubbery-niggerath?
thethirdChang: shrubbery nigger-wrath!
ekokitten: ....
ekokitten: nigger-wrath ><

Maeglin Arandur: MAKE SURE THAT I'M OUT OF THE BODY BEFORE YOU COOK IT.
ekokitten: .....
fwoofie: no chance buddy
thethirdChang: throw some neoguri spicy powder on top of him! ^^
rebbyaon: or marinate in other juices
rebbyaon: :D
ekokitten: like pesto sauce!
thethirdChang: nya?
Maeglin Arandur: AIYAH. like wonderboy's magical juice?
ekokitten: (I will totally ignore that insinuation) >>

ekokitten: I will lure Louis into a room
ekokitten: with my mad um...luring skillz?
ekokitten: then I will turn the room
ekokitten: into an OVEN
ekokitten: and cook him alive
ekokitten: ^^

fwoofie: she lifts her head
fwoofie: and what does she see?
fwoofie: (come on ppl, guess what she sees)
ekokitten: dirt?
fwoofie: no!
ekokitten: you realize I'm the only person paying attention here?

dcdcnews: i bet adela cant tell
dcdcnews: but i bet that undead woman was hot
dcdcnews: she sensuously touches the camera
dcdcnews: thats like, a come on right there
thethirdChang: ....
ThereBeYe: ...
thethirdChang: so delmar's definition of sensuously touching
thethirdChang: is apparently like slapping someone in the face
thethirdChang: okay, I'll remember that
dcdcnews: - -

thethirdChang: she sings of you having kinky sex with her in her mind
ekokitten: WTH?!
Maeglin Arandur: ... Delmar, restrain your... protege.

fwoofie: (he was undercover of course)
fwoofie: so
Maeglin Arandur: "orgy porgy! orgy porgy!"

[23:58] Debra: ok..
[23:58] Debra: it was a guy
[23:58] eKokiTTen: no.
[23:58] eKokiTTen: we already knew that. You're straight
[23:58] Debra: it coulda been a dog..

ekokitten: but I don't think of sex every 5 seconds
Maeglin Arandur: no, it's more like every 2. or 1.

thethirdChang: you almost killed someone?
Maeglin Arandur: I almost killed FIVE people. in three sep. occasions
Maeglin Arandur: some idiot decided to laugh at my rejection, and so he suffered major pain. blarrrrgh.

dcdcnews: sigh
dcdcnews: i couldn't help it
dcdcnews: i stood there and poked the toilet repeatedly
dcdcnews: and then I kicked it
dcdcnews: and nothing came out

mischiefanime: that's actually pretty good writing
fwoofie: and her face was like <3
mischiefanime: okay, except that sentence

Maeglin Arandur: I nominate a vote of non-innocence for debra...
ekokitten: I second
fwoofie: wait
ekokitten: but mostly because sticking someone's face on a pencil would be scary

ekokitten: the first thing I'll do is kill Debra, then I'll move onto Louis..-____-
Maeglin Arandur: why ME?!
ekokitten: I don't know. I've always wanted to kill you

ekokitten: why would I WANT kinky sex with louis? seriously?
x swirly whirl x: why not? o____o
Maeglin Arandur: durrr.

ekokitten: I can think of plenty of other things I'd rather do
Maeglin Arandur: oh. "things" you'd rather "do"?
Maeglin Arandur: Like... dylan binders!
fwoofie: binders?
fwoofie: or folders?
ekokitten: ....
fwoofie: or backpacks
fwoofie: or pencils
fwoofie: wow customized dylan school supplies!

Maeglin Arandur: let's all make a story. each person gets a sentence. delmar, start.
dcdcnews: about the deep love of louis and debra
Maeglin Arandur: okay, fuck your story.



hahaahahaa ♥♥♥ all xD

doublepost again skip list.
chu_totoro: (TRC-- flowers)
ahahaha I forgot to post this up last night before I went to bed x___X

AIM storage w00t. deb wrote a story AND joe did too! )

too lazy to go through and single out the stories, so if you want to read them you have to read everything. xD;; they're pretty random. It's really funny. When it's Del and Lulu, the stories are perverted as hell, and when it's Deb and Joe, they're random as hell. :D

Let's plan a gathering! Who's free... lessay... Wednesday?

btw Louis do you have a car you could drive people around with? because that would be helpful I think.

Zomg I have a car now! supposedly. My grandma bought a nice new one so obviously I get the crappy old one, but hey it's a car. Except that I can't drive people around, obv. and I don't think you want me to drive you because you'll die of a heart attack if not of a car crash, so yes. ^^

I need to make a checklist of everything I have to do over break. Otherwise I'm not going to do any of it. x______x

:] ♥♥ y'all~



1. IT'S SPRING BREAK. DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ^^
2. Sasuke's back! He looks HORRIBLE and has REALLY REALLY bad taste in clothing, but he's back!! And now I'm mostly caught up w/Naruto, like only a volume behind, I'll wait for some more volumes to come out before reading again. xD
3. I beat the computer at SC lawlz~ still need to get Venuti's CDkey. :o
chu_totoro: (Kenshin-- wtf)
x.x Sleepyyyyyy.

I stayed up too late last night talking books with [livejournal.com profile] kyouten.

Session Start (thethirdChang:ouvalyrin): Wed Jul 19 20:43:36 2006
Session Close (ouvalyrin): Thu Jul 20 01:06:07 2006

LOOK AT THAT. we went on for over 4 hours. Yes, with pauses in the middle, but still. Scary.

And when we both get started typing, our typing speed becomes v. fast and we also interlace different topics at the same time and then go back and read what each other wrote so we're essentially half-multitasking multiple conversations at once-- like in a chatroom! only it's just the two of us. XD;;

[20:45:39] ouvalyrin: i read pet semetary!
[20:46:01] ouvalyrin: * sematery
[20:46:04] ouvalyrin: * semataryu
[20:46:07] ouvalyrin: * sematary
[20:46:12] ouvalyrin: *fails so much*

ehehehe typing too fast can be funny.

Also! I vowed to do stuff today. i.e. actually instrument, do Chinese hw, walk dog etc (although he got walked twice last night)...

I sit down in front of the piano, and OBSESSION TAKES OVER.

Obsession is scary.

So I haven't practiced any piano I SHOULD'VE been practicing yet, and I haven't touched any other instrument, I've just been obsessively practicing certain non-teacher-pieces at the piano, and now it's TWO. wtf. Where did all the time go?!?! @.@

Also, news. Adam might come home briefly after all, sometime August. And he might bring Katie with him! Katie Cadamatre-- his Korean girlfriend who was raised by Italian parents. I want to meet her. She seems cool.

mm 'sall. back to obsessive playing.

1407 edit: Oh Del I asked Darren if he can do Max on heavy...

[14:06:37] dareonion: :(
[14:06:39] dareonion: not an a
[14:06:43] dareonion: but i've b'ed it
[14:06:56] dareonion: and only max 300

OK I have not much idea what he talks about, but I'm sure you can understand it. :D mmk yah.

1519 edit:

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

I miss somebody right now.  (Doesn't everyone?) I don't watch much TV these days.  (Never did.) I own lots of books.  (*looks over at Melody. the glint begins to spark*)
I wear glasses or contact lenses.  (Contacts.) I love to play video games.  (To play, yes. Not to OWN. Or to play too often.) × I've tried marijuana.
× I've watched porn movies.  (...accidental discoveries on my brother's computer do not count.) × I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. × I believe honesty is usually the best policy.  (nerrrrrr)
I curse sometimes. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. × I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
What a long meme... )

2147 edit: Well, that was amusing, to say the least.

Random missed calls from Zano, called back, he got this really shrill pitched girl who from the tones of it it was Angela to impersonate Delmar except not really, because it was in a v. obv. impersonating fashion, and the whole time I was sitting there eating 綠豆湯 and cracking up except not into the phone, and it was greatly amusing.

I am now v. cheered.

In other news, practicing cello outside must be the best idea ever, because it's not as hot and you don't start sweating and it's better for concentration and the sound rings out into the open and it's great because you can practice on for an hour and not notice or check the clock or anything...

EXCEPT MOSQUITOES. T__T;;

oh well, wasn't too bad. I don't get "giant" mosquito bites anymore. They diminish down to a red dot after a day or three.
chu_totoro: (TRC-- lol)
Ahahaha Alex quotes funny things in his journal.

Kero: but i kinda want a pet
K: that or a sibling
Me: sibling = pet?
K: sibling > pet
K: because you dont have to feed


That reminds me of the time in PreCalc when Rachael was talking about her brothers or something like it and 'twas like "Wait, you have a brother?" "Yeah, I have two dogs..." and then Yang and Lilith and Yuwen and the rest of us collapsed in laughter: "Rachael, you shouldn't refer to pets as siblings..." and there was much protesting from the Rachael and me: "Okay, okay, if siblings count as pets, I have FIVE siblings [Lilith: whoa how many dogs have you?] four cats too and wait I mean seven I have 2 real siblings _ _;; OH WAIT I have like 30 siblings if you count the fish!!! [Lilith: ... *headdesk* FISH?! You count FISH]..." Then...

Branden: Pfffft... *grand gesture* I had THIRTEEN siblings.
Branden: They all died.
Branden: From overeating.

.... XDDD It might've been something different, I think, such as overhigh ammonia concentration in their water, but anyway it was funnyyyyyy.

I like PreCalc.

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