i have

the most amazing friends!!^^

they make me so happy. it's so much easier to keep going when you know there are people who believe in you and trust that you can do what you set out to do, even when you're rapidly losing faith in yourself.

i never realized until today how damaging it was when my mom used to give up on me and do everything for me instead, muttering all the while about how unreliable i was as she stormed in to clean a room that i really meant to clean. i actually think that might have been one of my biggest sources of procrastination. why bother doing work you don't want to do when you're cursed so that no matter how fast you get it done you're still on the blacklist? why bother even thinking about cleaning up for mom's sake when she won't even believe that you did think so and will accuse you to your face of lying?

note to self: never do that to my children. D: if my future hubby wants to do so i will yell at him!!

srsly, i've been thinking... even if i was lying to get her out of my way, if she really trusted me to the extent of not letting other people criticize what i was not doing because i promised to get it done later, i think i would feel so grateful (and ashamed) that i would do it in a snap.

lesson of the day: trust is invaluable?

back to writing about confucius, that old bastard >D