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Sep. 22nd, 2008 04:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chu_totorostory 66
so once there was this blade of grass and this dandelion that happened to grow up next to each other because the wind happened to blow that way back when their seeds were first distributed, and nothing much was made of nothing, and the blade of grass associated with fellow blades of grass and made clumps of grass while the dandelion amused itself with... dandelion-like antics with fellow dandelions. and all was well and everything was good only the wind blew and the rain fell and lo! there was a great clover infestation that wiped out most all the clumps of grass and most all the dandelions and replaced them all with CLOVERS, but that was okay because the dandelion, flowering yellow now, promptly found entertainment in the four-leaf clovers and attempted to win their favour, while the blade of grass impressed all the three-leaf clovers by how – tall and leafless it was.
so it all worked out all right until the leprechauns came around and picked all the four-leaf clovers and trampled all the three leaf clovers in the process. and then the dandelion had to masquerade in turn as a daisy, a goldenrod, a milkweed, and wild mustard to get along with them while the blade of grass found companionship in the greener sort; crab grass, motherwort, shrubbery and the like. then one day the dandelion was rustling darkly about how much it missed the clovers and the blade of grass was waving about quietly about how much it missed the clovers and they overheard each other, being, of course, so close in location, and realized for the first startled time that they could have a lot to talk about – if they ever talked to each other. only plantae-decades of time before has dictated that they not, and the dandelion knew from a brief past experience or three that if anyplant so much as touched upon a touchy grass subject (and god knows what those were), the blade of grass froze up immediately and turned frostily into... a piece of frost. as such, it judged conversation a dangerous place to tread for fear of ending up with a piece of frost spreading its frosty influences to others all around it.
well! but that was not the whole of it. the dandelion tried, you see; gave a greeting rustle or two when it was feeling passing civil. only to be JILTED. by frosty ignore-ance. which can’t really be the blade of grass’s fault, because if the dandelion never greets it how is it supposed to know when the dandelion is feeling passing civil and how is it supposed to know the dandelion isn’t actually greeting a daisy behind it and maybe some days the blade of grass is just feeling cranky and doesn’t want to deal with the dandelion even if it thinks the dandelion is trying to be nice and whose fault would that be, really. although some days when the blade of grass is feeling passing civil it attempts to return the favour, only by then the dandelion is no longer feeling civil or even thinking about this, and from habit it does not expect anything but frosty ignore-ance from the blade of grass, so then in habitual blindness it misses the greeting and/or overlooks the blade of grass entirely, which is then jilted in its turn!
oh, what a vicious cycle we play. rationally, of course, the thing to do then would be to wait for both of them to feel passing civil on the same day, which should work things out except for one thing – how are they supposed to know the other plantae is feeling passing civil that day, the answer is they don’t, they don’t, and after being jilted many many times anyplant would feel less inclined to rustle, eh?
all this contributes to what is known as an invisible WALL OF AWKWARDNESS. every time a well-meaning is ignored it adds to this wall of awkwardness, and so it grows and it grows and it grows until it is nearly impossible to break, it comes down from time to time and then fwoosh, it’s right back up again until one day the dandelion gets completely, utterly, totally sick of it and it breaches the wall and finds the blade of grass and rustles angrily, “go fuck yourself i’m bloody leaving you beind” and whoosh there’s a great big wind and all the seeds on the dandelion soar off, spiraling with the breeze, so that there’s nothing left but a dandelion stem and the next day when the lawnmower comes by the dandelion is dead forever.
only not, because, you know, its life lay in those seeds, so really it’s just flown off to other, funner places and you should say gone forever rather than dead forever, and while the dandelion has fun elsewhere the blade of grass resumes life without its not-companion companion and every time it grows a bit taller the lawnmower comes around and trims it back down again.
the end.
boy am I feeling crabby today. extremely tired for no reason whatsoever.
pah.
edit: also, can someone enlighten me as to who the hell Megan Kao, Thomas Denq, Lisa Asai, and Katherine Moran are? some of the names sound vaguely familiar, but nothing more than that.
edit2: I am of the opinion that once someone has gotten onto your annoying list, they become annoying even when they're not particularly annoying. I have come up with a psychological theory for this, based off of classical conditioning and Pavlov's dog.
Pavlov's dog:
> SEE SPOT. SEE SPOT SEE FOOD. SEE SPOT DROOL.
>>> SEE SPOT. SEE BELL RING. SEE SPOT SEE FOOD. SEE SPOT DROOL. (repeat ad infinitum)
>>>>> SEE SPOT. SEE BELL RING. SEE SPOT DROOL.
My theory:
> SEE ME. SEE ME SEE ANNOYANCE*. SEE ME ANNOYED.
>>> SEE ME. SEE ME SEE PERSON**. SEE ME SEE ANNOYANCE. SEE ME ANNOYED. (repeat ad infinitum)
>>>>> SEE ME. SEE ME SEE PERSON. SEE ME ANNOYED.
*annoyance here refers to object of irritation (i.e. annoying behaviour) as opposed to the feeling
**person who exhibits annoying behaviour, obviously
It's all very simple, really.
boy I AM cranky today. waffle essay coming up in a bit.
so once there was this blade of grass and this dandelion that happened to grow up next to each other because the wind happened to blow that way back when their seeds were first distributed, and nothing much was made of nothing, and the blade of grass associated with fellow blades of grass and made clumps of grass while the dandelion amused itself with... dandelion-like antics with fellow dandelions. and all was well and everything was good only the wind blew and the rain fell and lo! there was a great clover infestation that wiped out most all the clumps of grass and most all the dandelions and replaced them all with CLOVERS, but that was okay because the dandelion, flowering yellow now, promptly found entertainment in the four-leaf clovers and attempted to win their favour, while the blade of grass impressed all the three-leaf clovers by how – tall and leafless it was.
so it all worked out all right until the leprechauns came around and picked all the four-leaf clovers and trampled all the three leaf clovers in the process. and then the dandelion had to masquerade in turn as a daisy, a goldenrod, a milkweed, and wild mustard to get along with them while the blade of grass found companionship in the greener sort; crab grass, motherwort, shrubbery and the like. then one day the dandelion was rustling darkly about how much it missed the clovers and the blade of grass was waving about quietly about how much it missed the clovers and they overheard each other, being, of course, so close in location, and realized for the first startled time that they could have a lot to talk about – if they ever talked to each other. only plantae-decades of time before has dictated that they not, and the dandelion knew from a brief past experience or three that if anyplant so much as touched upon a touchy grass subject (and god knows what those were), the blade of grass froze up immediately and turned frostily into... a piece of frost. as such, it judged conversation a dangerous place to tread for fear of ending up with a piece of frost spreading its frosty influences to others all around it.
well! but that was not the whole of it. the dandelion tried, you see; gave a greeting rustle or two when it was feeling passing civil. only to be JILTED. by frosty ignore-ance. which can’t really be the blade of grass’s fault, because if the dandelion never greets it how is it supposed to know when the dandelion is feeling passing civil and how is it supposed to know the dandelion isn’t actually greeting a daisy behind it and maybe some days the blade of grass is just feeling cranky and doesn’t want to deal with the dandelion even if it thinks the dandelion is trying to be nice and whose fault would that be, really. although some days when the blade of grass is feeling passing civil it attempts to return the favour, only by then the dandelion is no longer feeling civil or even thinking about this, and from habit it does not expect anything but frosty ignore-ance from the blade of grass, so then in habitual blindness it misses the greeting and/or overlooks the blade of grass entirely, which is then jilted in its turn!
oh, what a vicious cycle we play. rationally, of course, the thing to do then would be to wait for both of them to feel passing civil on the same day, which should work things out except for one thing – how are they supposed to know the other plantae is feeling passing civil that day, the answer is they don’t, they don’t, and after being jilted many many times anyplant would feel less inclined to rustle, eh?
all this contributes to what is known as an invisible WALL OF AWKWARDNESS. every time a well-meaning is ignored it adds to this wall of awkwardness, and so it grows and it grows and it grows until it is nearly impossible to break, it comes down from time to time and then fwoosh, it’s right back up again until one day the dandelion gets completely, utterly, totally sick of it and it breaches the wall and finds the blade of grass and rustles angrily, “go fuck yourself i’m bloody leaving you beind” and whoosh there’s a great big wind and all the seeds on the dandelion soar off, spiraling with the breeze, so that there’s nothing left but a dandelion stem and the next day when the lawnmower comes by the dandelion is dead forever.
only not, because, you know, its life lay in those seeds, so really it’s just flown off to other, funner places and you should say gone forever rather than dead forever, and while the dandelion has fun elsewhere the blade of grass resumes life without its not-companion companion and every time it grows a bit taller the lawnmower comes around and trims it back down again.
the end.
boy am I feeling crabby today. extremely tired for no reason whatsoever.
pah.
edit: also, can someone enlighten me as to who the hell Megan Kao, Thomas Denq, Lisa Asai, and Katherine Moran are? some of the names sound vaguely familiar, but nothing more than that.
edit2: I am of the opinion that once someone has gotten onto your annoying list, they become annoying even when they're not particularly annoying. I have come up with a psychological theory for this, based off of classical conditioning and Pavlov's dog.
Pavlov's dog:
> SEE SPOT. SEE SPOT SEE FOOD. SEE SPOT DROOL.
>>> SEE SPOT. SEE BELL RING. SEE SPOT SEE FOOD. SEE SPOT DROOL. (repeat ad infinitum)
>>>>> SEE SPOT. SEE BELL RING. SEE SPOT DROOL.
My theory:
> SEE ME. SEE ME SEE ANNOYANCE*. SEE ME ANNOYED.
>>> SEE ME. SEE ME SEE PERSON**. SEE ME SEE ANNOYANCE. SEE ME ANNOYED. (repeat ad infinitum)
>>>>> SEE ME. SEE ME SEE PERSON. SEE ME ANNOYED.
*annoyance here refers to object of irritation (i.e. annoying behaviour) as opposed to the feeling
**person who exhibits annoying behaviour, obviously
It's all very simple, really.
boy I AM cranky today. waffle essay coming up in a bit.
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no subject
Date: 2008-09-23 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-09-23 03:24 am (UTC)Finished revising your badminton essay yet?