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going to make any new year's resolutions at all but i was feeling particularly stressed out today (and tonight) so of course, i did the usual thing i do whenever i feel stressed out, which is to surf all the personal development and inspirational blogs i follow crunching for advice
while on the lovely tina su's blog i came across this post which really made me stop and think
yes, yes i have felt guilty lately
i felt incredibly guilty today for exactly what was described in the "debt" section, because it's been a while since i promised my friend i would make her website for her and i still haven't finished. i felt guilty for feeling ambivalent towards this boy that i like because, what. it's a crime to feel ambivalent towards somebody just because they like you? i felt guilty for taking my dog on a walk, because i wasn't doing the work i was supposed to do. i felt guilty for eating lunch with my mother, because again i was interrupted in the work i had planned to finish that morning, and i felt like i was wasting time instead of finishing what i was supposed to finish.
but it's important to me to walk my dog, and to enjoy my time with my mother, and i'd rather be there fully than feel terrible about things all the time just because of some invisible standard i've set up for myself that i failed to reach.
so here is my new goal for the year: to love myself more. more concretely, every day (or as close as i can get to it), as per this post, i am going to write in this journal what i forgive myself for, what i am grateful for, and what other people admire me for. and maybe i'll take myself on a date like. once or twice a month. ^.~ but i want to learn to stop beating myself up and be happy with where i am, because honestly, where i am isn't usually even that bad, it's only because i was pushing myself to something even better than i'm mad or guilty or whatever.
( first list of the year! )
gwahhh ok i'm also trying to go to bed early lately to change my sleeping schedule around so i better sleep now. unfortunately each list was shorter than the last because of this. i guess i can switch the order of things around every day to even it out.
goodnight!
while on the lovely tina su's blog i came across this post which really made me stop and think
yes, yes i have felt guilty lately
i felt incredibly guilty today for exactly what was described in the "debt" section, because it's been a while since i promised my friend i would make her website for her and i still haven't finished. i felt guilty for feeling ambivalent towards this boy that i like because, what. it's a crime to feel ambivalent towards somebody just because they like you? i felt guilty for taking my dog on a walk, because i wasn't doing the work i was supposed to do. i felt guilty for eating lunch with my mother, because again i was interrupted in the work i had planned to finish that morning, and i felt like i was wasting time instead of finishing what i was supposed to finish.
but it's important to me to walk my dog, and to enjoy my time with my mother, and i'd rather be there fully than feel terrible about things all the time just because of some invisible standard i've set up for myself that i failed to reach.
so here is my new goal for the year: to love myself more. more concretely, every day (or as close as i can get to it), as per this post, i am going to write in this journal what i forgive myself for, what i am grateful for, and what other people admire me for. and maybe i'll take myself on a date like. once or twice a month. ^.~ but i want to learn to stop beating myself up and be happy with where i am, because honestly, where i am isn't usually even that bad, it's only because i was pushing myself to something even better than i'm mad or guilty or whatever.
( first list of the year! )
gwahhh ok i'm also trying to go to bed early lately to change my sleeping schedule around so i better sleep now. unfortunately each list was shorter than the last because of this. i guess i can switch the order of things around every day to even it out.
goodnight!
