man

i wish i had taken korean pass/fail and this class for a letter grade

professor sluga is soooo niceee <3 and i loved the class too

ah tooo lateeee

when when when is mr mac getting here so i can start coding?!^^

edit: omg i have that kina grannis song stuck in my head

<3333333

people say

the memory is faulty so i'm going to write down the important things that have happened lately (or nonimportant, whatever) which made me happy because these are the things that have happened that i don't want to forget

*had really tasty indonesian food w/michael lin who's going to seattle soon! and sweden. &long convos about dance and chess this one crazy golfer dude and our dreams for the future hahah.

*아주모니 and 아저씨 are here to visit!! i stopped by wooho's before jessica's bday party (introduced to cards against humanity for the first time O__O) and had a most wonderful time talking with them in korean and catching up on wooho's life &stuff. he's going to a music festival this summer and to mannes for grad school... going to miss him :(

*spent about 2 hours in sf arguing with alex about ties. OMG i had no idea it was even possible to argue for so long about ties haha

*stepped into cloyne again for the first time in how many months? because jane lives there. and i realize, i've really been a lot of different places, haven't i? places that i've nearly forgotten about...

*random aside: still feel most comfortable playing piano in a co-op. i think because of the ample space and the people walking around who just don't care or don't mind and the freedom, it just feels so nice. always feel like i'm bothering people when i play in these small apartments so LOUD mmm. and i think i just get self conscious aha

*victor got really really excited about dnd, and then gave up. thought of ridge and how he would probably go gaga there with all the rest of the gamers

*finished reading the dragon quartet and kafka on the shore. mixed feelings about the latter - murakami always leaves so much unexplained!

*ran the dog down to safeway and back in the middle of the night (just down the block) with jordan. don't know WHAT we were doing but i was highhhhh (not literally)

i feel sort of sad that our society is the way it is sometimes. at least, the way we're brought up to think that death is a big tragedy and we're obliged to say or do something or help the person who's suffered through it. some days i want to let the world know that my brother is dead but it's ok because i loved him and we all loved him and i want to tell everybody all about how great he was and how wonderful and i want to want to so badly because i don't want his memory to fade i want as many people to love and remember him as possible. but i know they won't get it, really get it, and for most people they feel awkwardly sorry for me and aren't sure what to say, because to them it's a girl talking about her dead brother and somehow that's strange and a little sad and just a little bit wrong. i can't quite put it into words but it's like that for a lot of people. probably me too a long time ago. and i'm sad because i want it to be ok to love him in the way that it's ok to love people who are here, without all the awkwardness and strange sudden silences of people who think they've accidentally stepped somewhere they shouldn't. but i can't except with certain very close friends. and all i can do in the interim is treasure the memories and hope they don't fade over time...