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so happy that i'm slowly and steadily becoming a better person (i think)
i think i've learned a modicum of self control
i used to have really clearly defined rights and wrongs in my world. a lot of times somebody would do something that was just fundamentally WRONG, and i always always wanted to make sure they knew they were wrong, make the world right... correct them, so to speak
i think i've learned two things
1) i'm not always as right as i think i am because the world isn't as black and white as i think it is
2) even if there were an absolute right, which now i believe there isn't (always two sides to the coin), it doesn't give any sort of justification to be rude or unkind about it (which was me... a LOT... v___v).
it's like my dad with his cs! if you got a math problem wrong (definitively wrong), you still wouldn't want a smart-alec pointing over your shoulder loudly going "you got that and that and that WRONG!" would you?
i'm still not sure what the correct action to take is. but i do know i want to keep my irritation out of it, and focus on the actual issue, which is that i'm super uncomfortable whenever she starts yelling at vic in my presence. i think i've had my share of confrontations and the pointing out where the other person went wrong (in your opinion) part really isn't necessary and detracts from what's really important.
deep breath. go girl! you can do it!
alsoooo i revived ichinosekai.net and it made me so so so happy. it's like i found a part of my lost self. i was fixing code and adding descriptions and updating a little bit of the content and it's like i had forgotten all about this facet of myself and all of a sudden half of my younger life just came back to me and i realized that i had been thinking of myself as only half a coder, someone who started in college, but i've been obsessed with this stuff, the php and css and layout and perfect formatting and photoshop buttons and (way back) ugly tables for so long and i realized that maybe i had no reason to be so unsure at the career panel. maybe i didn't need to ask them so many questions (although they were tremendously helpful). there's a reason i chose cs for a major, and it's because i love it, and i'm never never never going to get away from that. <3
edit: omg i don't know how i feel. two emails bounced from ealcusa's mailing list today--
kurtpham@berkeley.edu
Unrouteable address
shonyy@berkeley.edu
Unrouteable address
looking at this, i realized i knew both these people very well. kurt from innod freshman year who was always so excited and enthusiastic about design and just positive, in general, and shoni my one closest friend in freshman year who introduced me to cjc and the longboard connection and i knew them both so well and i knew exactly where they'd gone and it's such a weird feeling, to see their berkeley.edu emails being bounced because they're gone gone gone gone goneeee
wow my berkeley.edu email's gonna be gone one day
i think i've learned a modicum of self control
i used to have really clearly defined rights and wrongs in my world. a lot of times somebody would do something that was just fundamentally WRONG, and i always always wanted to make sure they knew they were wrong, make the world right... correct them, so to speak
i think i've learned two things
1) i'm not always as right as i think i am because the world isn't as black and white as i think it is
2) even if there were an absolute right, which now i believe there isn't (always two sides to the coin), it doesn't give any sort of justification to be rude or unkind about it (which was me... a LOT... v___v).
it's like my dad with his cs! if you got a math problem wrong (definitively wrong), you still wouldn't want a smart-alec pointing over your shoulder loudly going "you got that and that and that WRONG!" would you?
i'm still not sure what the correct action to take is. but i do know i want to keep my irritation out of it, and focus on the actual issue, which is that i'm super uncomfortable whenever she starts yelling at vic in my presence. i think i've had my share of confrontations and the pointing out where the other person went wrong (in your opinion) part really isn't necessary and detracts from what's really important.
deep breath. go girl! you can do it!
alsoooo i revived ichinosekai.net and it made me so so so happy. it's like i found a part of my lost self. i was fixing code and adding descriptions and updating a little bit of the content and it's like i had forgotten all about this facet of myself and all of a sudden half of my younger life just came back to me and i realized that i had been thinking of myself as only half a coder, someone who started in college, but i've been obsessed with this stuff, the php and css and layout and perfect formatting and photoshop buttons and (way back) ugly tables for so long and i realized that maybe i had no reason to be so unsure at the career panel. maybe i didn't need to ask them so many questions (although they were tremendously helpful). there's a reason i chose cs for a major, and it's because i love it, and i'm never never never going to get away from that. <3
edit: omg i don't know how i feel. two emails bounced from ealcusa's mailing list today--
kurtpham@berkeley.edu
Unrouteable address
shonyy@berkeley.edu
Unrouteable address
looking at this, i realized i knew both these people very well. kurt from innod freshman year who was always so excited and enthusiastic about design and just positive, in general, and shoni my one closest friend in freshman year who introduced me to cjc and the longboard connection and i knew them both so well and i knew exactly where they'd gone and it's such a weird feeling, to see their berkeley.edu emails being bounced because they're gone gone gone gone goneeee
wow my berkeley.edu email's gonna be gone one day
