have a little priest!

There’s a hole in the world like a great black pit
And it’s filled with people who are full of shit
And the vermin of the world inhabit it

mmmmm so I turned 17 two days ago, got two cakes, 50 dollars’ worth of Starbucks, and the ability to legally watch R-rated movies. :) So of course we went to watch Sweeney Todd, which was morbid and bloody but sort of funny, all at the same time.

ACTORS: It’s priest! Have a little priest! *brandishes meat pies*
ADELA: …ew.
ACTORS: Here's the politician, so oily it's served with a doily.
ADELA: ahahahahahaha!

TODD: *fiddling with his ancient chair*
CHAIR: has footrest! has pedal! has a bunch of new additions!
CAROLYN (to Melody): What is he doing?
MELODY (to Adela): What is he doing?
ADELA (to Lilith): What is he doing???
LILITH: Um, making it into a barber chair?
ADELA (to Melody): He’s making it into a barber chair!
MELODY: A barber chair!
CAROLYN: A barber chair!

Several scenes later…

TODD: *slits someone’s throat while shaving them* NYAHAHAHA! *steps on chair pedal*
CHAIR: *tilts backwards and tips the corpse into a dungeon*
ALL: HAHAHAHAHA THAT’S WHAT HE DID WITH THE CHAIR!
TIFFANY: … you guys have a weird sense of humor.

And everyone stalks each other, I swear. The Judge stalked the Barber and his Wife before he got rid of the Barber and raped his wife and took his Daughter in to raise as his own… then he stalked the Daughter, in his own house. The Pretty Boy stalked the Daughter, Mrs. Lovett stalks the Barber, the Wife who becomes a Freaky Beggar Woman stalks everyone, and the Barber spies on his various victims through his windows.

Right, so aside from that, my sister made me a cheesecake. :D herself! And I got… strange presents from my mom. Amongst other things. It was pretty good.

(no subject)

Sounds like song lyrics. Maybe we could use it for Informal Star, or Dirigible Plums, or whatever we plan to call it...

there once was a boy who fell in love
when his lover sent a note by a small white dove
sealed with a rose and the promise of a kiss
and an invitation to a secret tryst
so he went to her door and waited and waited
hours and hours til he quite deflated
til her mother came to kick him out the door
like so much scum living on the floor
he weeped and moaned, he thought and groaned
he ate mushrooms til he felt stoned
but he still couldn’t figure out what went wrong
so he decided he would be strong
and he went back to sit at her door
yes he went back to sit at her door
through day and night, through sun and rain
he was sitting at her door
at times it poured, it poured and it poured
and drenched all the clothing that he wore
but still he sat outside her door
like so much scum that lived on the floor
like the rats that lived on the floor.
finally she came, curious and young
to ask why he sat out in the sun
to ask why he sat out in the rain
to ask why he looked like scum in a sewage drain.
he showed her the note, the raggedy note,
ripped and tattered beyond any hope
that had drawn him into love
when she sent it with a small white dove.
she read it not, the words were ripped
but she said she had never asked for a tryst
though she bid him stay
if he thought it was okay
and that night they talked the night away.
there once was a boy who fell in love
when his lover sent a note by a small white dove
sealed with a rose and the promise of a kiss
and an invitation to a secret tryst
the note was a prank by some neighborhood friends
who were always up to some mischievous ends
but as such things always come about
the boy got his girl (who got kicked out
by her mother who was standing at the door
and said they looked like scum from the floor)
they DID! like rats in a sewage drain
and he held her hand and smiled through the rain

mmmm my sister sent me a poem over gmail yesterday, that I also thought was pretty funny.

Observation

If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again,
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much,
But I shall stay the way I am
Because I do not give a damn.

~Dorothy Parker, 1926

LOL justification for procrastination much?