Aiyaaa

I fail at sleeping. _ _;;

That must have been, what? 10 hours? but sheesh, how many hours did I actually spend asleep? and dreams. dreams loooooose.

I don't feel rested at all~

More CMEA today. >< sigh.

0830 edit: Btw Eliza, if you don't mind, I might be publicizing those custom filtered posts later, just so people know everything that went on. I agree with Louis that there is too much a lack of communication in the world...

1247 edit: OMGOMGOMGOMG YAYYYYYY THIS IS THE BEST NEWS I'VE HAD ALL DAY!!!!!!

She CANCELLED THE CONCERT. Cancelled cancelled cancelled!!! I don't know if it's really cancelled or just moved back but in any case it's not tomorrow and ZOMGYAY I'm so happy that just wiped ALL the stress and crazytension out of my life although really there's still soooo much work to do but for the moment I don't care because I am SO. EXPLICITLY. HAPPY. LIFE IS GOOD YAY.

Oh yeah, we did decent CMEA. CELLOS PWNT. But overall eh... SHS did... well, Iunno, but the winds//brass weren't so great in Jupiter. _ _;; AND BYRON. Ahaha he started a beat early in the sightreading and EVERYONE heard him and we all made faces at him but it was good. the sightreading was fun.

BUT OMG I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW NOTHING CAN DIMINISH MY HAPPINESS YAY I LOVE THE WORLD LIFE IS HAPPYYYYYYY~

That is not to say I don't have to practice still. ^^;; But BLAHAHAHA who cares I don't mind~ I can practice without the PRESSURE ON ME NOW XD XD XD

Y'know, the fact that one cancelled concert can make me SO happy makes me wonder if I shouldn't be feeling kind of guilty towards my cello teacher... ehehehe.

[[ORIGINALLY ELIZA-ONLY VIEW]]

Well, Eliza, you have a point.

pumyAON: what is especially striking about this
pumyAON: is the continued apathy from the happyland sector

That is not to say Louis, Deb, and Kev weren't worried. When Del and I left, the three of them had moved out of happyland and were pacing around/attempting to sleep in the living room.

Kevin doesn't know you well enough, obviously. But he cared. /shrug I didn't talk to him at all after the sleepover, except via chats, and this was the first IM I get from him:

le pomme d amour: have you made successful contact with eliza?

Deb was worried too, she just didn't get directly involved. Del and I did because Alex did, and Alex trusts Del and Del pulled me in because they unanimously agreed...

pumyAON: of course.
pumyAON: since they needed an eliza-expert

>>;; You know, Louis is v. clear-minded analysis-wise when it's not dealing with his OWN ISSUES. ahahaha. But Deb cared too. She left you the note, meh? And she staked out with us. And she disappeared offline and I didn't see her on 'til Thursday, and before I can even go zomg it's a Debra! she IMs me like immediately:

fwoofie: where's eliza?
thethirdChang: not on
thethirdChang: she was at debate earlier today
fwoofie: :-(

Louis paced around the entire time. _ _;; Except for a brief half-hour when he curled up and fell asleep on the couch. He treats it differently, but it is not to say he didn't care.

pumyAON: hellooooo
pumyAON: er. did eliza get any better?

pumyAON: you can't FORCE people to return to society
pumyAON: it is a conscious choice
pumyAON: leave her alone, and she'll be back on her own schedule

And also, he doesn't know you well enough for HIM to do anything.

pumyAON: well, I shall trust your judgement.
pumyAON: though I find it absurd and nonsensical at times

Aaaaand. Okay, I've talked to Alex Ji not at ALL since the sleepover-- just realized that. But Mel and Kero did briefly inquire upon it. Mel literally slept through all of it. /shrug. You must allow her some leeway for being asleep?

Kero and Alex Ji I have nothing to say for. Aside that Alex really knows you least of all... but I wasn't there. Iunno. This is as much as I know:

and it was so absurd.  I mean, you had three people chattering away and then everyone else was so serious and somber. There was this sort of aura of depression, and it was disturbing.

Right. You probably know this already, because...

Many people passed, and a few failed.

And: I cannot lie and say I'm sorry for something I'm not.

That is true. You should not say they cared not for you, because they ARE your friends, Eliza, these are people who would cry if you died... but here if they were ignorant of the situation (yes, some people are dense. and everyone has their own affairs to deal with.) and it didn't affect them. Well, what is there to apologise for?

There are plenty more than three people who care about you, though. Your MOTHER, for one. _ _;; It makes me wince sometimes how extraordinarily mean you are to her. She's trying her best, you know. She's monitoring you coz she cares. if she doesn't care about you, think about it, why should she even bother? And you have other friends... mike1 was worried, to say the least. Tiff was, too, she just happened to be in China. She asked about it in SHS coz she saw my post.

Ookay. I don't know how many LGHS people you know, and such. Just think: if you died, how many people would cry?

... more than you think. *willing to bet money on this*

(Christine still remembers you. And she *would* cry. There are more random people out there than you think. XD)