once upon a time

there was a squirrel and a turtle that got along extraordinarily well

they got along so well that the turtle started pushing for the squirrel to come live in the sea with him

the squirrel, having seen more of the world, was more realistic and pointed out that squirrels can't swim and would probably drown instantly, not to mention the sharks and wild things and lack of acorns

the turtle admitted, a little crestfallen, that he knew this, then halfheartedly suggested that he could adapt to the squirrel's nest in the trees instead

no no, said the squirrel, and gently suggested that the turtle go back to the sea and give up on this crazy idea

but it wasn't so easy, because they were amazing friends that told each other everything, from the crazy wars turtle grandpa and grandma had fought in and squirrel grandpa had almost fought in to the little turtle shell patterns that the turtle made and sold to the sea animals to the squirrel's dream of revolutionizing acorn storage and transforming the entire forest into a giant squirrel playing ground where all the squirrels would do nothing all day but play war games and throw acorns at each other.

the turtle missed the squirrel terribly when the squirrel was away, and the squirrel missed the turtle terribly as well, although probably not as terribly as the turtle because the squirrel at least had some squirrel friends and forest animals to keep him company while the turtle lived all alone

so they saw each other again, and again. but the squirrel knew what the turtle was thinking and the turtle knew that the squirrel knew and tried to distract things by talking about everything and beyond in an attempt to act just like the way they used to be, but it didn't work. in the middle of one of the turtle's spiels the squirrel would interrupt and point out the fact that the turtle can't climb trees and should really go back to the sea because acting like nothing's wrong isn't going to help the turtle learn to climb trees, and the squirrel knew the turtle so well that he could see that if he kept hoping for things to work out like this he was just setting himself up to be miserable - and the squirrel would be miserable too, by proxy.

the turtle would get mad at the squirrel for talking about this when he hadn't even brought it up, but the squirrel couldn't unsee what was there and they had huge screaming fights which had never occurred before in the course of their friendship, even though they always made up immediately thereafter. every time the squirrel told the turtle to go the turtle would tear up and say it wasn't necessary, and the squirrel, who really just wanted to stay friends and could not stand up against such fiendish deep-sea emotion, broke down and told the turtle they could stay friends each time.

finally the squirrel decided enough was enough and after a final long talk that lasted hours and hours the two friends decided to part ways, at least until these miserable desires could simmer down enough for them to be friends again.

and as the squirrel stewed in his nest and went about his daily squirrely business, he felt absolutely terrible.

terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible

the turtle came to him once, having broken down from misery, and the squirrel was kind to him and soon the turtle left again

and the squirrel thought that in some ways it must be easier to not be the rational one, because the turtle at least could give in to his emotions and cry and beg and plead

while the squirrel, no matter how lonely and upset he was, couldn't afford to falter, could never ever pick up his squirrelphone and dial his good friend's number in a moment of weakness, could only mechanically go about his chores while telling himself moment to moment: no, no, no, no, no.