tarot

Had maybe an hour long conversation today with curly-haired tall entity the umpteenth that lives in the house. We played with tarot cards. 'Twas fun. I am superstitious after all, or I want to be. But who doesn't?

Soul - Futility (Seven of Swords)
Mind - Sorrow (Three of Swords)
Body - Peace (Two of Swords)

POCKET FULL OF SUNSHINE. So I'm perfectly fine on the outside while severely screwed up on the inside. Sounds about right. I wish I could have more faith in the world, but sometimes I just don't.

(To be fair, I, like Debra, tend to only post nowadays when I'm feeling especially moody, so please take everything I say with a grain of salt.)

It's not even about faith or not faith. It's the transience. How fast everything moves. Time flies so fast nowadays. I meet these people, and before I have a chance to get to know them well, well like you knew your childhood playmates, well like you wasted hours together being utterly stupid, I meet them and they're gone. People who could be good friends, would be good friends, but life moves so fast and we're all so busy and we all have so much to do, once they're not "conveniently" around (e.g. live in the same house, live in the same dorm, be in the same class), they're just gone. So many people whom you briefly brush by and never see again. It makes me emotionally sick. I keep having these moments that I would like to keep forever, that I would like to keep until it's not fun anymore and you're sick of it and move on to something else, but they're over in an instant and I'm left by myself in an empty room, stretched out on a couch and mulling on a moment that's no longer there. Are they only beautiful because they're transient? Are we, sick creatures, only able to appreciate something once it's gone?

Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
For nothing gold can stay.


On that note, a meme from cougarfang:

The Rules - Don’t take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors (poets included) who have always influenced you and will always stick with you. List the first 15 you can recall in no more than 15 minutes, and they don’t have to be listed in order of relevance to you.

1. Robert Frost
2. Gabriel Garcia Marquez
3. Sarah Rees Brennan
4. Alexandre Dumas
5. Orson Scott Card (only one book, really)
6. Antoine du Saint-Exupery
7. Phillip Pullman
8. Gary Paulsen
9. J.K. Rowling (ehehe)
10. Dylan Thomas
11. Ray Bradbury
12. Jin Yong
13. Am out of ideas... Hans Christian Andersen?
14. OH ROALD DAHL
15. I must be missing someone important... JRR Tolkien (but not really)

edit: re: curly-haired entity

today brought me back to behindpyramids's coming of age post. because. everyone has so many issues and everyone is so broken and the world is so fucked up but at the same time it's not and somehow it keeps going anyway. she captured it better than i ever could. that's who should be up on my list. behindpyramids.

off to work

re: edit: re:

HELP I DON'T UNDERSTAND ASYMPTOTIC ANALYSIS ><