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May. 24th, 2008 11:45 pmI'm happy.
Or content. Satisfied. Whatever it is. That warm fuzzy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when life is good and you love everyone and you love the world and you even love the bits of life that you know you might hate and rage against on a bad day, and you're so full of love for everything that it just overflows. I just want to sit back and let this feeling soak through me the way the sunlight soaks into your skin when you sit outside on a sunny day and gradually permeates your whole being so that you just feel warm and comfortable and sleepy. Like that.
I can't really pick out any one reason that brought this on. A combination of many factors, probably. Life in general. But I don't want to analyze it, because analysis requires reason, and reason requires rationality, and being all logical now and breaking stuff down just pulls you out of everything, you know. Because thinking makes you sober again, and soberness is generally more somber than... whatever you are.
I've always had this problem with stuff I really enjoy. Like books. The type that grab me and pull me in, so much that I'm literally dying to find out what happens next and can't sleep and can't stop until I hit the last page - I hate it if I have to stop in the middle to analyze, guess what's going to happen next, think carefully about every word, then go on. It's a better way to read, my mom says. But I hate it. You lose the excitement, the- I don't really know how to put it. And you only really get that the first time through, I think. I can go back afterwards, maybe, but not the first time.
I have no idea where all that came from. I think I got sidetracked? but I didn't really have any point to make in the first place.
I just want to tell everyone that I love you all. :)
And I love this feeling of loving everything. It's almost... intoxicating. mmmmm.
warm and fuzzy mmmmm find a teddy bear and go SQUISH
Or content. Satisfied. Whatever it is. That warm fuzzy feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when life is good and you love everyone and you love the world and you even love the bits of life that you know you might hate and rage against on a bad day, and you're so full of love for everything that it just overflows. I just want to sit back and let this feeling soak through me the way the sunlight soaks into your skin when you sit outside on a sunny day and gradually permeates your whole being so that you just feel warm and comfortable and sleepy. Like that.
I can't really pick out any one reason that brought this on. A combination of many factors, probably. Life in general. But I don't want to analyze it, because analysis requires reason, and reason requires rationality, and being all logical now and breaking stuff down just pulls you out of everything, you know. Because thinking makes you sober again, and soberness is generally more somber than... whatever you are.
I've always had this problem with stuff I really enjoy. Like books. The type that grab me and pull me in, so much that I'm literally dying to find out what happens next and can't sleep and can't stop until I hit the last page - I hate it if I have to stop in the middle to analyze, guess what's going to happen next, think carefully about every word, then go on. It's a better way to read, my mom says. But I hate it. You lose the excitement, the- I don't really know how to put it. And you only really get that the first time through, I think. I can go back afterwards, maybe, but not the first time.
I have no idea where all that came from. I think I got sidetracked? but I didn't really have any point to make in the first place.
I just want to tell everyone that I love you all. :)
And I love this feeling of loving everything. It's almost... intoxicating. mmmmm.
warm and fuzzy mmmmm find a teddy bear and go SQUISH
