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Jan. 10th, 2008 02:17 pmI had a dream.
And it was so vivid, so real, I didn't know I was dreaming. I immersed myself in it until I believed it, and in it I was so happy. I was just with a group of friends, and we weren't doing anything really, just chilling, talking, hanging out, playing on laptops, I think we'd just discovered something new and we were all really excited to try it out, I don't know, whatever. But I was HAPPY. I felt so full of contentment I could burst.
...Then my inner clock hit and I sat bolt upright and checked my alarm clock and it was exactly 8 AM, so I fell back into bed and tried to sleep again (school starts laaaaate on Thursdays), and after that couple seconds before I knew exactly what was going on, it just hit me. That I was in my bed, that it was 8 AM and I had school, that I was dreaming and none of it, none of it was true.
Such a surge of disappointment. And bitterness.
It's like, if you've ever done something you really, really regretted, then you dreamt that it never happened or that you were forgiven or somehow it just turned out right, and you're so happy! And then you wake up and it comes crashing down around you. That feeling.
Only this time it wasn't about anything in particular. It was just me. In a fantasy world. And content, so content, so happy, loving every bit of it, and then waking up and finding out it never was.
I hate school.
And it was so vivid, so real, I didn't know I was dreaming. I immersed myself in it until I believed it, and in it I was so happy. I was just with a group of friends, and we weren't doing anything really, just chilling, talking, hanging out, playing on laptops, I think we'd just discovered something new and we were all really excited to try it out, I don't know, whatever. But I was HAPPY. I felt so full of contentment I could burst.
...Then my inner clock hit and I sat bolt upright and checked my alarm clock and it was exactly 8 AM, so I fell back into bed and tried to sleep again (school starts laaaaate on Thursdays), and after that couple seconds before I knew exactly what was going on, it just hit me. That I was in my bed, that it was 8 AM and I had school, that I was dreaming and none of it, none of it was true.
Such a surge of disappointment. And bitterness.
It's like, if you've ever done something you really, really regretted, then you dreamt that it never happened or that you were forgiven or somehow it just turned out right, and you're so happy! And then you wake up and it comes crashing down around you. That feeling.
Only this time it wasn't about anything in particular. It was just me. In a fantasy world. And content, so content, so happy, loving every bit of it, and then waking up and finding out it never was.
I hate school.
