chu_totoro (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chu_totoro) wrote2006-04-17 11:07 pm
chu_totoro) wrote2006-04-17 11:07 pm
Entry tags:
Daaaaaamn
Daaaaaamn I want to cry now.
I feel like a complete utter and total bitch. and really really really mean. and it's killing me.
but you know what, if I'm going to be a terrible person I shall be honest about it, coz 真小人 > 偽君子. And apparently I can't abide lying to myself anyway. If I've got thoughts I always end up talking about it with SOMEONE. And usu the journal. Seriously. if you read this, you know pretty much EVERYTHING about my life. whoa what a scary thought.
Okay, now that I am somewhat distracted from selfdisgust and am less inclined to have insomnia, I will go to bed.
4/18/06 1654 edit: _ _;; Well. thanks. I still feel totally mean, just for THINKING it, but I'll just ignore that for now... you know I find I'm really good at pushing things temporarily to a corner of my mind and ignoring them for like... a time being... maybe it's because my life's so busy I can't afford to dwell on things too much. ==;; (i.e. must FORCE mind blank in WHATEVER emotional state to concentrate on cello/piano practice because I just... um, have to, or else... etc.)
I feel like a complete utter and total bitch. and really really really mean. and it's killing me.
but you know what, if I'm going to be a terrible person I shall be honest about it, coz 真小人 > 偽君子. And apparently I can't abide lying to myself anyway. If I've got thoughts I always end up talking about it with SOMEONE. And usu the journal. Seriously. if you read this, you know pretty much EVERYTHING about my life. whoa what a scary thought.
Okay, now that I am somewhat distracted from selfdisgust and am less inclined to have insomnia, I will go to bed.
4/18/06 1654 edit: _ _;; Well. thanks. I still feel totally mean, just for THINKING it, but I'll just ignore that for now... you know I find I'm really good at pushing things temporarily to a corner of my mind and ignoring them for like... a time being... maybe it's because my life's so busy I can't afford to dwell on things too much. ==;; (i.e. must FORCE mind blank in WHATEVER emotional state to concentrate on cello/piano practice because I just... um, have to, or else... etc.)
no subject
I'm sure that you did not have the INTENT of being so mean. Doesn't vindicate your actions, but it also lessens the degree of offense, somewhat.
Off to bed for myself.
no subject