chu_totoro (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
chu_totoro) wrote2006-04-17 11:07 pm
chu_totoro) wrote2006-04-17 11:07 pm
Entry tags:
Daaaaaamn
Daaaaaamn I want to cry now.
I feel like a complete utter and total bitch. and really really really mean. and it's killing me.
but you know what, if I'm going to be a terrible person I shall be honest about it, coz 真小人 > 偽君子. And apparently I can't abide lying to myself anyway. If I've got thoughts I always end up talking about it with SOMEONE. And usu the journal. Seriously. if you read this, you know pretty much EVERYTHING about my life. whoa what a scary thought.
Okay, now that I am somewhat distracted from selfdisgust and am less inclined to have insomnia, I will go to bed.
4/18/06 1654 edit: _ _;; Well. thanks. I still feel totally mean, just for THINKING it, but I'll just ignore that for now... you know I find I'm really good at pushing things temporarily to a corner of my mind and ignoring them for like... a time being... maybe it's because my life's so busy I can't afford to dwell on things too much. ==;; (i.e. must FORCE mind blank in WHATEVER emotional state to concentrate on cello/piano practice because I just... um, have to, or else... etc.)
I feel like a complete utter and total bitch. and really really really mean. and it's killing me.
but you know what, if I'm going to be a terrible person I shall be honest about it, coz 真小人 > 偽君子. And apparently I can't abide lying to myself anyway. If I've got thoughts I always end up talking about it with SOMEONE. And usu the journal. Seriously. if you read this, you know pretty much EVERYTHING about my life. whoa what a scary thought.
Okay, now that I am somewhat distracted from selfdisgust and am less inclined to have insomnia, I will go to bed.
4/18/06 1654 edit: _ _;; Well. thanks. I still feel totally mean, just for THINKING it, but I'll just ignore that for now... you know I find I'm really good at pushing things temporarily to a corner of my mind and ignoring them for like... a time being... maybe it's because my life's so busy I can't afford to dwell on things too much. ==;; (i.e. must FORCE mind blank in WHATEVER emotional state to concentrate on cello/piano practice because I just... um, have to, or else... etc.)