chu_totoro: (Loveless-- !!)
when I grow up

I want to live in a room with a piano

and the guzheng will be along the back wall

and the cello will be off to the side

but the chair and the music stand will be in front of the piano


where people sit

for a trio or quartet

that should be facing the door

behind the piano

I want

my bed

the guqin & its little table can fit in the side corner/side wall

or maybe by that time I'll have moved on to qixianqin

in which case I don't need the table anymore

but I doubt it

ahh yes

when I grow up

that's what I want my room to look like

complete with a little shelf to hold music books and binders

that's where I want to live

except not live live

because I'm messy and throw stuff everywhere

so my clothes have to be somewhere else

they can go in another room

along with my computer

and my frisbees

and my boomerangs

and my massive shelves of books

basically, I want another room like the one I'm sitting in now

with a bed, too

basically, I want a studio

with a bed

but it doesn't have to be a real real bed

maybe I'll just have a futon or tatami

but it has to be a studio

it doesn't have to only have one door (along the guzheng wall) but

when all the doors are closed it should be

a world of its own

not hopelessly tied to the backyard and the kitchen and the office the way it is now

...and this is funny, because

I never cared much about music when I was in 8th grade

four years is a long time, huh

it really is

ah well

I had some other things I wanted to say

but I've forgotten them


to take a leaf from louis's book


edit: ...HAHAHA

have fun figuring out the proper punctuation kids


Jun. 27th, 2009 07:02 pm
chu_totoro: (Loveless-- !?)
is it so hot!?

so I really want to go to Italy now


it's so cheap!

the most expensive part is probably travel costs but guess what...


i.e. I can probably just pay some sort of fee to delay my return flight time by a week or two

i.e. no extra plane flight costs (well except maybe from Germany to Italy but compared to US to Italy...)

also, if Mr & Mrs Kim agree to go that means

it'll be legit!

(withOUT the dragonlady)

because Mrs Kim will not settle for anything less than the best for her students :)

the only thing is...

then I won't be back 'til early August

so I'll have lost half a month

and Yulya might not be very happy.

but I'll still be here in August and September!

is that enough time to make a recording?

who knows.

but of course if I do go to Italy I'll do piano too

that should console her.

come to think of it, it might even HELP my recording.

oh man I better finish guzheng recordings soon

and start practising that guqin

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whatever

so hot...

edit: so I was writing about my experiences in new york. & it was basically a long Litany of Injustices Done. but I got tired of thinking such negative thoughts halfway through and stopped.

I might post up a less long, summarized version sometime. I have not the energy to continue in the vein I started. this heat is robbing me of my ability to think...
chu_totoro: (Kenshin-- I can fly)
I have no idea what I dreamt last night, but I am certain it involved a frisbee.

In other news, my dad gave me some technological tips yesterday that were most amusing. For example, my Azureus share ratio is now 70.319! Admittedly this doesn't do much except make my little red/yellow button happily green all the time (the actual ratio's stored in the trackers, see), but it's still kind of fun to play with.

Also, here is half a page I typed into a word document and then abandoned for something else:

blatherings )

In other other news, I finished Quality of Mercy. It was so good. It was everything the seventh book should have been and wasn't, and will always, I think, stay the real ending, the right ending in my head.

Thank you, Maya.
chu_totoro: (Loveless-- please shoot me now)
shit, I just realized today how much I'm going to miss these people when I go home. wasn't thinking about it before, wasn't thinking about much of anything really except life and living life, which might be good in some respects but then today we were talking and the tide of conversation turned and I thought, really thought, and. damn.


in happier news - the staircase voice! )
chu_totoro: (random-- abracadabra)
... )

2041 edit: As much as I love both, the use of coffee and/or DELICIOUS NEOGURI MMMMM to revive, revitalize, and awaken myself-- will be so bad for me in the long run.

Alas, I cannot resist. ._____.

/falls to temptation
chu_totoro: (FMA-- I sleep now kthxbye)
mmmmnnnn haha my parents won't let me watch the chun jie lian huan wan hui because they watched it already and I was off camping on New Year's Eve. So sad. But I watched a bit of random Chinese entertainment TV w/them. I haven't seen DaBing's retarded face in such a long time, it's almost endearing to watch him and his dorky antics again. And dude, not being able to type Chinese sucks. Typing out pinyin seems weird.

You know I always set myself a whole bunch of goals and stuff for breaks, like while I'm still in school and in work-mode I just go zomg TIME I can do this and this and this and finally catch up with this and this and do all this work and finish all this crap and come break I snap right into break-lazy-mode and FREEDOM. LAZE AROUND DON'T DO ANYTHING HAVE FUN HANG OUT and never do any of the stuff I plan to. At least not til the last minute. xD;;

On Wednesday we watched Brokeback Mountain! Again. We being essentially all the music cluff officers + me --;; coz no one came. But it was fun. And I conclude it's not half as good off bigscreen. And also it's hard to concentrate with a continuous running commentary. It's too difficult to take the movie seriously.

yeah I finally finished the Farseer trilogy yesterday. I have to thank god Amy only got the SECOND book of Tawny Man, so I won't be tempted to start it until she gets the first, because otherwise I dunno what would've happened to my whole break.

FITZ DIDN'T END UP WITH HER. I AM HAPPY. ^_______^ And he didn't really get together with Starling either! I liked her at the beginning but she got annoying. I ended up just liking the fool, mostly. Except he left. But well it ends with them APART APART APART HARHARHARHARHAR screw Molly~ I've been waiting the entire series for it to happen. ^^ Although you saw it coming a mile off by the third book. Everything in this trilogy seems to be coming a mile off. But HE DIDN'T END UP WITH HER and I loved it anyway. :D

mmm totally rambling. This is what happens when I write late entries. I'm too lazy to even bother with connecting my thoughts like I normally do. You know that doctor dude said from 11-1 is really when you ought to be in bed no matter what because there are major hormonal secretions then. Or something of the like. Which might explain this.

I got a haircut yesterday. The barber lady offered to pull out all my white hairs. I told her to leave my hair alone. I was kind of sulky because I have a thin mop of hair instead of a thick head of hair like I had when I was little, and I had just done research and found out that about 90% of shampoo uses this poisonous chemical that isn't that bad, but definitely kills/weakens hair follicles so new hair doesn't grow out, and also found that the shampoo I use uses an exceedingly large quantity of it (how cheap of them) which made me even sulkier, and yes guys maybe it's just internet trash information (god knows there's enough of that), but SLS isn't good for your hair. And from what I've deduced, that much should be true while the possible cancer-causing is false. yeah. I also feel old. I have a lot of white hairs, you know. I could rival Tiffany if I wanted to. It's just her hairs all grow on the side where they're visible and mine are hidden layers down. At least I can't see them or find them myself.

whee I don't know what I'm doing up anyway. I should go to bed.

Today wasn't bad at all, you know. Ever gone to a lesson expecting horror and shame and guilt and gritting teeth and all that and instead having a great lesson? That happened to me today. I think Yulia might have just been being more tolerant because CM's pressing too close and she doesn't have time to get angry. --; She could tell I didn't practice. She was like "You didn't practice much, did you?" (I practiced piano a grand total of once this week.) but she was genuinely happy about the Sonata. Cello recital was cancelled for about the millionth time because people are away during break whom she wants to perform, and that's really not good for my piece because I practice more when there are recitals, but oh well. Teacher was satisfied-ish today. And guzheng teacher is nice, as always. I played with her cat. Dad was horribly late picking me up, but what was funny, ANGELA came. To the lesson after mine. We were like ZOMG *speechless* but then the first thing she reminds me of. JAPANESE HOMEWORK. Sheesh! /clubs her over the head. T___T I didn't even know there was any until she told me. Bringer of bad news!!! but it was kind of interesting because I rarely ever see anyone other than me and laoshr play guzheng unless it's professional people on TV, so I watched a bit of her lesson. That was morning. Oh we got Cinnamon Dolce Latte. Or I did. Dad got a normal Latte. I think I like Cinnamon Dolce Frappuccino better. Creme based. :DDDD I like sugar. xD

Another driving lesson thing today. After forever. I don't get backaches now! ^^V Mostly because I've gotten v. good at taking all the shock out of stopping at stop signs. --;; I had such a horrible backache the very first time I drove. It was like "STOP!" me: AHHH! (in my head) *slam* Car: *JERK* Coach: x____@ try to be gentler next time...

multiply the above by 2 hours. yeah.

Our neighbors chopped down the bush that's been above the fence since as long as I can remember. Which would be about 15 years. Which is how long I've lived in this house. Which is probably why it unnerves me when I hear my mom talk about moving out of it. But probably I'll get over it when I go to college. I mean I do want to go to the East Coast. Anyway I can see right into their house now. It's a strange feeling. And empty. So much less green. Actually it's been chopped for a while. Maybe I posted before. But earlier there were lights on and I could see shadows moving. They let all their screens down. I guess they don't want me to see. Well it saves me the trouble of letting my shades down. I like keeping my window open. Lots more light.

Rice has become a 3-legged dog. He popped his knee a while back. He runs really fast on three legs. Almost as fast as normal. He looks retarded though. The vet says he might need surgery if he doesn't let it down in another week or so. :o that sounds really scary.

I miss you chatroom people. We need to have another gathering sometime. At least before people go off to college.

fSFJWRPQIVSDLKJ I've had this stomachache almost the entire night. So before piano today we had about 15 minutes to rush back from cello, grab the piano bag, and go (we were idiots, piano/cello is almost right next to each other, and I forgot the bag. oh and they're both about 15 mins from the house. :o), so with reckless speeding we got there only 8 minutes late, but anyway I grabbed some food coz I realized I forgot to eat lunch (shut up, it's possible to forget these things -_-;) and ate it down way too fast and now I have a bunch of air bubbles in my stomach. I'm pretty sure that's what it is. Or more like in my intestines. And there's a LOT. which really sucks. I assure you, it really really sucks. Actually come to think of it I've had this stomachache since piano. wow that's over 6 hours. 1/4th of a day.

yeah so my foot's fallen asleep. I take that as a signal that the rest of me should probably go to sleep now too. Like I should've done half an hour ago.

chu_totoro: (FMA-- I sleep now kthxbye)
blargh )

...I forgot the original point of this post. I had something else to say, but it turned into a rant about yesterday... except today was actually stable and happy and I don't want to think about yesterday anymore, so I'll be quiet now. ^^; *totally cannot remember*

0158 edit: .... I TOTALLY just remembered what I was going to say, and then I was about to come here and post and and I was thinking about writing "!! moment of inspiration yay" and then while I was thinking about that I FORGOT again. T___T *dork*
chu_totoro: (FMA-- I sleep now kthxbye)
I can see us.

... )
chu_totoro: (FMA-- I sleep now kthxbye)
So it's tomorrow, and I can't sleep... )
chu_totoro: (TRC-- I can see the rainbow)
It is Cinco de Mayo! it would also be Duanwu Jie, only that goes by lunar calendar. Although, incidentally, it is deathdate of the famous Napoleon Bonaparte...

There were nearly NO people in PreCalc today -- primarily a junior class, and all the juniors were off taking APUSH. It was rather a fun class. Did much of nothing at all.

Ramble )

Well. I shall try to abstain from computer usage. save myself some hours of procrastination. AIM usage, at least. _ _;; I am wise enough to know that I have not enough self-restraint to ditch the computer fully. If I try, I shall be back on it in less than a day, feeling very foolish...

as to the moment, I am unreasonably happy~ ^^
chu_totoro: (FMA-- I am selfish)
I feel like I'm a bit emotionally unstable today.

Maybe I should join in a random track practice or two. Perhaps the end of the season has to do with this? *too much Bio* Exercise raises endorphin levels! --QUOTH Cochrum. whoa it's retarded. Like whenever I'm happy now, I automatically think about brainchemistry and my conscious mind literally THINKS hey, my endorphin levels are back up! ... =X *NERD*

Hm. I'm lazy though. And I don't want to run leagues.

And it's probably just me... being unstable... on... a monthly basis! ^^;

Anyway, I will try not to let it affect me too much. but who knows.

I have stuff about the day that I would post on, but I am feeling le LAZY todayyy. And I think most of my flist is indifferent to my SHS excursions, so whee it's okay. XD


and what is this new "location" thing I see? oooh~ *fiddle fiddle* ^^ funnnnnn~


Apr. 26th, 2006 04:18 pm
chu_totoro: (Loveless-- please shoot me now)
[so I'm using big text again. but not quite so big as it was.]

This morning I skipped breakfast purely out of laziness. oO;; I actually woke early, too. I have no idea why I've been waking regularly at ~6 every day when I'm consistently going to sleep past midnight. Anyway, I had two hours and I was just like: I have so much time. *sit* *blinkblink* *too lazy to move* *too lazy to change* Oh look, it's the Bio packet on my desk! Let's finish the rest of it and not have work for the rest of the week. *finishes it* *sit* Look Chinese hw! *does that too* .... *sit* *stare out window* ... *stomach growls* I'm hungry. I should eat. ....... *sit*

Didn't dress til about 2 minutes before departure. _ _;;

I actually toasted a bagel for lunch, but being me, forgot to bring it. ^^;

Had no moneyyy, but found 82 cents in various nooks and crannies of my backpack. And Yuwen kindly threw me a quarter so I could get 3 chocolate chip cookies! I didn't eat the third one. I like. gnawed on it. and consumed about half of it during English. and was loath to eat more because then I'd have no more food. but I ate it afterschool.

So... over a time period of 20 hours or so, I had nothing but 3 cookies. XD Cookies are good. I should probably eat something now. For some reason I'm not hungry at all. I feel like I've been totally backwards lately.

Laaaaah I'm happy right now. And I'm like Whoa my bad mood rants are so stupid and silly and immature. *has urge to delete* But I never delete. And in any case, wait 'til I get in a bad mood again. Something will happen and my mood will flip upside-down like a pancake, and I'll be like ... How do I look at life optimistically? How can I normally face life so happily? AUUUUUGH. and I'll read this and be like what the hell. *revokes it all in my mind* And I will rant. or not. and later I will be happy again and look back on my rant and be like .... wow I so stupid. *completely agrees with this paragraph again*

My moods follow such a predictable pattern. _ _;; But I can't change it, either. Ehhhh well. work now.

1847 edit: I don't know why I pryyy... I don't always do it (wtf I don't have time to spaare to be nosy), only when I feel like I need to, but it's like... it doesn't really achieve much, does it? I don't think it ever makes things worse than they already are... well I waste much time and I take much of another person's time, but aside from that... eh but it doesn't make things better, either. Well maybe somewhat? hum.

Ehe whatever I'll just trust gut feelings. I think I just don't quite know why sometimes I instinctively feel like I should... Then again, sometimes telling someone about something and just having someone, anyone, *really* understand you can make a person feel better?

Ahaha I don't know. It's a wonderful form of procrastination though; look it's 7 PM already eek I need to instrumeeeent~

Well Jiji I hope... you feel better... XD Sorry for being such a pest and all and delaying your hwstuff. o_O;; I apologiiiise~

_ _;;

Apr. 18th, 2006 04:26 pm
chu_totoro: (xxxholic-- my privacy)
Aiyaaaa really. Ashley meant well, but she really didn't get it. _ _;;

We ran to the cemetery! And Lisa and Charity and Jeff lagged behind so we waited for them, and I was wandering around inside the cemetery because well. come on! There are paths. It's made for you to walk on! And I was reading all the inscriptions and idly ambling through the graves and balancing on the curb by the paths, and Ashley was just like Nuuuu Adela you shouldn't be there. =.= I vaguely contemplated lying down in the shade becausebecause. Trees + grass + gentle breeze = perfect spot! Completely inviting. Only Ashley would've freaked more. It's not like I'd lie down in the shade of a tombstone. Well, I would, but I have at least some respect for the dead. >>;; It's just a TREE. And if it happens to be amongst graves, so what?

But knowing her, she would've seriously freaked out... so I didn't! I just kind of sat. And I was in a nontalking mood because I wasn't... particularly sugarhigh/hyperish off blood sugar or anything. It's rather enjoyable just sitting in the shade and enjoying nature sometimes.

Turns out the three of them didn't even bother running. They walked. And they told us to follow, they'll get a head start and keep walking.

Ashley kept thinking something was wrong with me. _ _;; And I couldn't explain to her that nothing was. Occasionally everyone does get into solo nonchattery moods, no? But she obv didn't believe me. And she pried nonstop ("friends? family? school? harker? what iiiis it?!") and well. I told her already it was nothing, so what could I say? But hearing that I was like *poiktwingeELIZAAwince* so I was like "hm yeah, all of them!" but srsly. I wasn't actually thinking about ANYTHING at all...

And then I decided to ditch Lisa and Charity and not follow coz they'd just go on a random trek that takes an exceedingly long time and not really run. I figured I could explore. It brought back memories from elementary school when I would go biking randomly around the neighborhood, just for the heck of it... I mean, as long as I was in the Golden Triangle I'd eventually find my way back. And I learned like ALL the streets around my neighborhood...

I was somewhat hoping Ashley would follow Lisa and Charity, but I left it up to her, and she followed me. _ _;; Can't run too fast then, y'see. So I didn't *really* explore-- basically just headed back in a loop with some extra unnecessary turns in the way.

I believe she's still convinced something is wrong, but hey. What else can I say? Ahahahaha I told her to draw her own conclusions and I'm betting you anything she drew totally incorrect ones. XD Well, this isn't the first time someone's misunderstood me and I was too lazy to explain... I mean, I know my motives, so it doesn't really matter if no one else gets me, does it? ^^

Ahahaaah but on reflection, anyone who reads this LJ knows ALL. *amuuuused*

Well, let the people who read it read, and the people who don't don't. Theiiiir choice. :)

1650 edit: ... This icon is rather drastic. It is somewhat ill-fitted to this post, but.. this is an icon I'll probably NEVER use, so w/e.


Apr. 4th, 2006 05:39 pm
chu_totoro: (FMA-- I am selfish)
this morning I told my mom how I thought we needed to get together more to do nothing. my mom told me stories about how she used to take the bus and switch stops and go a long way to meet her friend, back when she was in school in Taiwan, and together they would go hang out in bookstores and libraries and random cool Taiwanese food places or random shopping places and waste the day away.

man, I wish transportation here is as convenient as it is in Taiwan. =X

if I could drive, I think I would drive to people's houses just to do nothing. anything. homework.

it used to be kinda like that in Harker. afterschool everyone stayed on campus, and then I would finish all of my work and wander the campus randomly, as did we all.

and, this doesn't require planning or anything, you could just call people up when you have nothing to do or even when you still have something to do and be like hey want to come over? and they can come over, it's not like how we have to go to hell to plan some crazy gathering all the time. and this kind of thing doesn't really need parental clearance either. it's like, you don't have to ask permission if your neighbor decides to drop in for a bit...

we live too far away. u.u

...where's my capitalization? whathappen~

walked home today for the first time in.... a long time. mom's phone was off and dad's sick so I did not wake him up with loud ringings that may give him a splitting headache.

feel sporadic. loss of capitalization &coherence makes me feel like I've regressed to one of these emojournalpeople. bah


Apr. 2nd, 2006 07:11 pm
chu_totoro: (xxxholic-- Zashiki Warashi)
Ramblings )

Anyway, I feel I need to abstain from internet usage more. but I won't announce a hiatus because I don't think I can last with one for more than a day or two, and then that's utterly pointless so I will just be attempting to stay off the nets, and I shall fail and you guys can point and laugh at my patheticness and rub it in my face.

Kero and Mel, tomorrow I think you should come find me at the school (Tiff'll be there too that way), wait for me in the music building, and if you can't find the music building, well, I'll call, don't bother calling me 'coz I won't get the phone back for a day or two, but I'll borrow someone's. I'll make sure not to bike to school tmr, and if I can't find a ride home with someone, I'll get my parents to pick me up and you guys can tag along. :)

2349 edit: Owww )
chu_totoro: (FMA-- I am selfish)
Giant unbroken rambly paragraph )

Ick. I think too much. I depress myself. It's been 15 minutes; I should go now. I think this cold has an effect on my mentality.
chu_totoro: (FMA-- I sleep now kthxbye)
Why the hell am I so tired today?

It's not like the meet was that bad. Although today had to be the ONE day there were no clouds, no rain, nothing but the sun and the heat and our disgusting field with the black plastic bits under the grass and the razor sharp leaves getting all over clothing and sticking to the static electricity and cutting paper cuts all over you.

Mr. Jordan didn't make me triple, though, and it took place at SHS, so it wasn't much.

I forgot lunch. I forgot my MONEY too, dammit, but we walked to Tiff's and I leeched food off her so that shouldn't be a problem either.

I didn't even practice cello today. I was going to, but I had to practice piano because of my lesson. Which of course is at 8:30 PM at night. And now I'm not going to be able to concentrate enough to practice, so I'm just forgoing it completely.

Concert tomorrow. This means. I won't be able to practice. I'm going to get KILLED at my lesson on Saturday. ... Eliza can watch the slaughter.

It's not just now, either. In fifth period when we watched that movie, I stayed alert and took notes, but the second half when I lay down I kept literally falling ASLEEP. I would start dreaming, and completely ink out anything I hear from the film, and 5 minutes later in the dream I jump like OOOH crap I'm watching a film I have to take notes wake up wake up and I wake up and pay attention for 1 minute or so. And fall asleep again.

On an interesting side note, we got tests back in 5th. I didn't take a page of notes [1pg allowed, one only, and if you write it and don't use it, extra credit! if you don't at all, nothing-- namely, me], I didn't do the reading, I failed all the quizzes, I didn't listen in class, I never even looked at our stupid BOOK... and with my mad scantron-taking skills I got a 41/50. oO;; While Molly, beside me, who took the FULL binder paper sheet of notes (yes, full, completely into the margins and stuff with TINY writing that spaced about 5 lines per every binder paper line...), got a 32/50.

... ah, the quirks of life.

Bloody hell. I'm going to sleep.


chu_totoro: (Default)

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